What you think, is what you are

Thoughts are extremely powerful.  Our experience of the world is based upon our perspective of it.  Two different people can experience the exact same thing but will feel it differently.  The way we feel is largely based upon our perspective, which is created upon our life experiences, our knowledge of the world and the way we have learned to process information.

Sometimes we imagine that someone doesn't like us.  Everything they say to us gives us the sense that they dislike who we are.  Whilst this may be the case, often it is the way we read the situation that suggests they dislike us.  Once we form the idea that someone doesn't like us, it becomes very difficult to shake that idea off.  In fact it seems impossible.  But it isn't.  We can think differently. We can choose to think that the person does like us.  We can internally tell ourselves this over and over again. We can focus on the positive things they say.  We can look for the good in the person.  Pretty soon we will change our perspective.  That isn't to say that every single being on the planet is a jolly person waiting to happen.  There are people that do terrible things and it's likely impossible to think of those people as anything other than terrible. Though it is helpful to our sense of selves, if even those terrible people are thought to be in need of help.  This does not excuse their actions it merely releases us from our negative thinking.  Negative thoughts do not make us feel good.  Negative thoughts make us feel negative.  It's rather obvious when you think about it.

Likewise, if we see the world as negative, then that's exactly what it is.  Everything little thing that happens feeds into the idea that the world is negative.  We spot every piece of negative news, and filter out the good things.  Even if we just spill a drink, rather than it seeming like unfortunate but an easily fixed happenstance, it seems like a further example of the bad things that happen to us.  It becomes part of the spiral of negativity.

There is a wealth of discourse that tells us to see the positives, to think ourselves happy, to be grateful for our blessings and so on.  These practices actually work.  They don't work because of some pie-in-the-sky idealism, they work because of logic.  It is what we think, alongside our physical experiences, that creates positivity. For example, someone smiles at us but we don't notice because we are lost in negative thoughts, they smile again but still we don't see and even if they smile once more, by that time even if we notice, we are so consumed with negative thinking that their smile doesn't elicit a heartfelt smile from us.  We may smile back out of politeness but we don't mirror their smile.  We don't feel their smile.  Yet another person, not lost in negative thoughts, open to feeling a smile, shares a magical interaction.  Imagine scenarios like this over and over again as we stroll / struggle (delete as appropriate) through life - one person responding to positivity and the other being lost in negativity.  It's easy to see who will feel happy and who will feel unhappy.

Positive thinking really does make a difference.  There will always be personal situations and those situations we see in the wider world that will pull us down, they may even pull us down for some time.  Grief and personal illness are clear examples of this.  Yet even in these times, and perhaps especially in these times, it is vital that we use our thoughts to pull ourselves forward until there is a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.  That glimmer will become ever brighter as we think ourselves happy. Of course we should also utilise support networks, take part in positive experiences and heal our physical selves.  

Loving wishes and peace,

The Renegade Glitter Fairy

xx    

Remote control

I saw a quote earlier today which said "If I was meant to be controlled, I would have been born with a remote control".  This struck a chord with me.  Sadly, it probably strikes a chord with many people.

No one has the right to control another person. Support is wonderful.  Guidance can be helpful.  Advice too, can provide great benefits.  Compromise in relationships is vital and relationship decisions should be shared.  Decisions that appertain to an individual person, should be made by that person. 

Each individual should have their hands on the driving wheel of their life. No other person has the right to decide:

Who you see
Where you go
How long you stay
What clothes you wear
How much make-up you wear
Whether you wear make-up
What music you listen to
Who you talk to
How much money you spend
How much money you save
And so on.....

These decisions, and decisions like them are decided by the individual.  There are cases where another person may have to act on your behalf, for example in illness or where your abilities are impaired through disability.  However, even in these cases, each person should have as much decision making responsibility as possible with regards to their own life.

If you feel that you are being controlled, do not let this continue.  Take your power back.  Control is a form of domestic abuse.  And it is never okay.

First person, third person

Some of the posts on this blog will be written in the first person, and will express my thoughts and experiences.  Others will be more informational and written in the third person. 

I hope all my blog posts will prove helpful and inspiring. 

xx

Negativity

Today I had some negative thoughts.  Things that people said and did bothered me.  I felt anger towards those people.  Some of my negative thoughts were towards situations that have long since past and some were to more recent occurrences. 

Negative thoughts, breeds more negatives.  Thus, I sent those people that once hurt me kindness.  I wished them well.  It was difficult to do this with heartfelt honesty but I worked at it and I achieved it.  

When you feel tangled up in bitterness, it serves no one. Ill will only makes those holding negative thoughts feel worse.  In other words, holding negativity in your heart makes you, the holder, feel negative. 

Focus on what is good.  Notice all the good things in your life.  They are easier to spot than you think. Count your blessings.  Even in the hardest of times, there will be moments, perhaps only moments, of abundance.  Sometimes they are fleeting.  Sometimes they seem few.  But each day has moments of joy. 

Peace and love,

The Renegade Glitter Fairy
xx

Hope

Children matter

This is easy to say, it might even seem obvious but children really matter.  All children.  Every child across the globe.  Most people feel a sense of compassion towards children and most people struggle when they hear that children are suffering. 

I would like make a request that everyone does something each day to help a child.  It doesn't have to be a big act of kindness, to a child, all acts of kindness have value.  If you see a child struggling, smile at them.  If you see a carer struggling with a child, send the carer warm thoughts.  Send the child warm thoughts.  Compassionate thoughts really do make a difference.  Action, too, makes a difference. 

If you think a child may be in danger - report it.  If you know a child is being hurt, do something about it.  Support charities that support children.  Work for a charity that supports children. As a wise person once said "be the difference you wish to see in the world".   

Children, at their outset are the blank canvases.  We make them what they become.  A child's experiences of life are provided by their parents, their care givers - surely we should endeavour to make those experiences happy, nurturing ones.  Moreover it is children that will grow into the adults of the future.  A nurturing childhood will help to ensure that children become nurturing adults.  After all, we don't become kind people by being shouted and screamed at, we become kind by being shown what kindness is. 

Of course compassion is not the only life tool - learning, education, personal emotional strength, communication, creativity and other elements matter too.  But if we do not act with compassion, we cease to be what makes us human.  And if a child is not taught how to be compassionate, they will not be compassionate. 


With peace,

The Renegade Glitter Fairy

The starfish