Time infinite

Time infinite

Saturday 28 February 2015

What you think, is what you are

Thoughts are extremely powerful.  Our experience of the world is based upon our perspective of it.  Two different people can experience the exact same thing but will feel it differently.  The way we feel is largely based upon our perspective, which is created upon our life experiences, our knowledge of the world and the way we have learned to process information.


Sometimes we imagine that someone doesn't like us.  Everything they say to us gives us the sense that they dislike who we are.  Whilst this may be the case, often it is the way we read the situation that suggests they dislike us.  Once we form the idea that someone doesn't like us, it becomes very difficult to shake that idea off.  In fact it seems impossible.  But it isn't.  We can think differently. We can choose to think that the person does like us.  We can internally tell ourselves this over and over again. We can focus on the positive things they say.  We can look for the good in the person.  Pretty soon we will change our perspective.  That isn't to say that every single being on the planet is a jolly person waiting to happen.  There are people that do terrible things and it's likely impossible to think of those people as anything other than terrible. Though it is helpful to our sense of selves, if even those terrible people are thought to be in need of help.  This does not excuse their actions it merely releases us from our negative thinking.  Negative thoughts do not make us feel good.  Negative thoughts make us feel negative.  It's rather obvious when you think about it.



Likewise, if we see the world as negative, then that's exactly what it is.  Everything little thing that happens feeds into the idea that the world is negative.  We spot every piece of negative news, and filter out the good things.  Even if we just spill a drink, rather than it seeming like unfortunate but an easily fixed happenstance, it seems like a further example of the bad things that happen to us.  It becomes part of the spiral of negativity.

There is a wealth of discourse that tells us to see the positives, to think ourselves happy, to be grateful for our blessings and so on.  These practices actually work.  They don't work because of some pie-in-the-sky idealism, they work because of logic.  It is what we think, alongside our physical experiences, that creates positivity. For example, someone smiles at us but we don't notice because we are lost in negative thoughts, they smile again but still we don't see and even if they smile once more, by that time even if we notice, we are so consumed with negative thinking that their smile doesn't elicit a heartfelt smile from us.  We may smile back out of politeness but we don't mirror their smile.  We don't feel their smile.  Yet another person, not lost in negative thoughts, open to feeling a smile, shares a magical interaction.  Imagine scenarios like this over and over again as we stroll / struggle (delete as appropriate) through life - one person responding to positivity and the other being lost in negativity.  It's easy to see who will feel happy and who will feel unhappy.


Positive thinking really does make a difference.  There will always be personal situations and those situations we see in the wider world that will pull us down, they may even pull us down for some time.  Grief and personal illness are clear examples of this.  Yet even in these times, and perhaps especially in these times, it is vital that we use our thoughts to pull ourselves forward until there is a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.  That glimmer will become ever brighter as we think ourselves happy. Of course we should also utilise support networks, take part in positive experiences and heal our physical selves.  

Loving wishes and peace,

The Renegade Glitter Fairy

xx    



Friday 27 February 2015

Remote control

I saw a quote earlier today which said "If I was meant to be controlled, I would have been born with a remote control".  This struck a chord with me.  Sadly, it probably strikes a chord with many people.

No one has the right to control another person. Support is wonderful.  Guidance can be helpful.  Advice too, can provide great benefits.  Compromise in relationships is vital and relationship decisions should be shared.  Decisions that appertain to an individual person, should be made by that person. 

Each individual should have their hands on the driving wheel of their life. No other person has the right to decide:

Who you see
Where you go
How long you stay
What clothes you wear
How much make-up you wear
Whether you wear make-up
What music you listen to
Who you talk to
How much money you spend
How much money you save
And so on.....

These decisions, and decisions like them are decided by the individual.  There are cases where another person may have to act on your behalf, for example in illness or where your abilities are impaired through disability.  However, even in these cases, each person should have as much decision making responsibility as possible with regards to their own life.

If you feel that you are being controlled, do not let this continue.  Take your power back.  Control is a form of domestic abuse.  And it is never okay.


First person, third person

Some of the posts on this blog will be written in the first person, and will express my thoughts and experiences.  Others will be more informational and written in the third person. 

I hope all my blog posts will prove helpful and inspiring. 

xx

Tuesday 24 February 2015

Negativity

Today I had some negative thoughts.  Things that people said and did bothered me.  I felt anger towards those people.  Some of my negative thoughts were towards situations that have long since past and some were to more recent occurrences. 

Negative thoughts, breeds more negatives.  Thus, I sent those people that once hurt me kindness.  I wished them well.  It was difficult to do this with heartfelt honesty but I worked at it and I achieved it.  

When you feel tangled up in bitterness, it serves no one. Ill will only makes those holding negative thoughts feel worse.  In other words, holding negativity in your heart makes you, the holder, feel negative. 

Focus on what is good.  Notice all the good things in your life.  They are easier to spot than you think. Count your blessings.  Even in the hardest of times, there will be moments, perhaps only moments, of abundance.  Sometimes they are fleeting.  Sometimes they seem few.  But each day has moments of joy. 

Peace and love,

The Renegade Glitter Fairy
xx

Hope


Monday 23 February 2015

Children matter

This is easy to say, it might even seem obvious but children really matter.  All children.  Every child across the globe.  Most people feel a sense of compassion towards children and most people struggle when they hear that children are suffering. 

I would like make a request that everyone does something each day to help a child.  It doesn't have to be a big act of kindness, to a child, all acts of kindness have value.  If you see a child struggling, smile at them.  If you see a carer struggling with a child, send the carer warm thoughts.  Send the child warm thoughts.  Compassionate thoughts really do make a difference.  Action, too, makes a difference. 

If you think a child may be in danger - report it.  If you know a child is being hurt, do something about it.  Support charities that support children.  Work for a charity that supports children. As a wise person once said "be the difference you wish to see in the world".   

Children, at their outset are the blank canvases.  We make them what they become.  A child's experiences of life are provided by their parents, their care givers - surely we should endeavour to make those experiences happy, nurturing ones.  Moreover it is children that will grow into the adults of the future.  A nurturing childhood will help to ensure that children become nurturing adults.  After all, we don't become kind people by being shouted and screamed at, we become kind by being shown what kindness is. 

Of course compassion is not the only life tool - learning, education, personal emotional strength, communication, creativity and other elements matter too.  But if we do not act with compassion, we cease to be what makes us human.  And if a child is not taught how to be compassionate, they will not be compassionate. 


With peace,

The Renegade Glitter Fairy

The starfish


Health and soul


Our hearts


Sunday 22 February 2015

Personal power

It is important that everyone feels a strong sense of personal emotional power.  I don't refer to the kind of power associated with a Bond villain.  I refer to the kind of power that is associated with emotional security.  Emotional security is, in an ideal world, built up from birth.  Yet even the happiest of lives can include impacts upon ones sense of emotional security.  Personal loss, bullying in school, rejection and similar experiences can reduce people's power.

Bullying in particular has tremendous impacts upon people's sense of power.  Bullying happens in different contexts - school, the workplace and, of course, the home.  One type of bullying behaviour is generally described as domestic abuse or domestic violence.  The victims of domestic abuse have their sense of personal power damaged over time.  There are different types of abuser and there are different types of domestic abuse.  It also varies in it's severity.  However, regardless of the type, the abuser or the severity - the results for the victim is the much the same, their sense of power is severely damaged.  Obviously the worst kinds of abuse can lead to serious injury or even death.

Personal relationships that encompass domestic abuse must be escaped.  In theory, it's possible that an abusive person can receive help to alter their behaviours, however they must be open to this and the success of any programmes will depend on how well the abuser interacts with a programme.  For the most part though, victims of abuse must escape the abusive relationship.  There are services that provide support to victims https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/help-victims/ive-been-affected/domestic-abuse.  Where there is any immediate danger the police MUST ALWAYS be called.  Also, it is important to remember that all beings can be subjected to abuse - children, men, women and animals.  My focus in this post will be on adult victims.

We must always remember that there is no excuse for abusive behaviour.  Abusive people will seek to blame others and they will seek to blame the victim.  In fact abusive people will seek to blame anyone and anything rather than accept responsibly for their behaviour.

Sometimes abuse can be somewhat tricky to recognise, particularly if abuse takes psychological forms.  Yet whatever form abuse takes, it SHOULD NOT be accepted.  It is absolutely vital that victims of abuse escape their situation.  It should be noted that abuse is repeated behaviours. For example if someone calls you an unpleasant name, as a one off, although unpleasant, this would not, in itself mean you had been a victim of domestic abuse.  Never-the-less, if someone carries out an act of violence towards their partner, even if it seems to be a one off, it is important that victims do not wait until they are hit again.  The chances are, they will be hit again and it could be much worse next time.

The information below was taken from http://www.woodbridgedvrt.org/pages/fiveforms.html. It describes different types of domestic abuse / violence.

The Five Forms of Domestic Abuse

Physical

Inflicting or attempting to inflict physical injury
example: grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hitting, biting, arm-twisting, kicking, punching, hitting with blunt objects, stabbing, shooting

Withholding access to resources necessary to maintain health example: medication, medical care, wheelchair, food or fluids, sleep, hygienic assistance Forcing alcohol or other drug use

Sexual

Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent
example: marital rape, acquaintance rape, forced sex after physical beating, attacks on the sexual parts of the body, forced prostitution, fondling, sodomy, sex with others

Attempting to undermine the victim' sexuality
example: treating him/her in a sexually derogatory manner, criticizing sexual performance and desirability, accusations of infidelity, withholding sex

Psychological

Instilling or attempting to instill fear
example: intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, victim, and/or others, threatening to harm and/or kidnap children, menacing, blackmail, harassment, destruction of pets and property, mind games, stalking

Isolating or attempting to isolate victim from friends, family, school, and/or work example:withholding access to phone and/or transportation, undermining victim's personal relationships, harassing others, constant "checking up,” constant accompaniment, use of unfounded accusations, forced imprisonment

Emotional

Undermining or attempting to undermine victim sense of worth
example: constant criticism, belittling victim's abilities and competency, name-calling, insults, put-downs, silent treatment, manipulating victim's feelings and emotions to induce guilt, subverting a partner's relationship with the children, repeatedly making and breaking promises

Economic

Making or attempting to make the victim financially dependent
example: maintaining total control over financial resources including victim's earned income or resources received through public assistance or social security, withholding money and/or access to money, forbidding attendance at school, forbidding employment, on-the-job harassment, requiring accountability and justification for all money spent, forced welfare fraud, withholding information about family running up bills for which the victim is responsible for payment 


Abusive people, generally speaking, do not listen to reason.  Victims of abuse cannot fix their abuser partner. Moreover, and this is most important to recognise - victims of abuse are not to blame for domestic abuse.  Although they may feel guilt, they are not responsible for someone else's behaviour.  Situations can exist where both partners are abusive.  In which case, both people are responsible for their behaviour.  Remaining in an abusive relationship is unhelpful and may be very dangerous.  Particular if children are involved.

Victims must escape their situation and they must find ways to reclaim their emotional power.  Counselling can be very helpful to victims of abuse.  People that have been subjected to abuse should utilise every type of support available to them.  This can include family, friends and professionals.  In the UK there are locally delivered programmes designed to help victims of abuse.  There also safe places to stay when victims have left their abusive partner.

Personal relationships should be emotionally nurturing and, on balance, both parties should feel emotionally supported.  Although it is worth noting that all relationships have their ups and downs.  And sometimes the down periods can last for quite some time.  It is also worth noting that most adults will argue with their partner at times.  Never-the-less, it is important to recognise that domestic abuse is not an argument.  Arguing will likely take place but people can argue without being abusive.  Usually, in arguments, people tend to stick the point they are making.  It is a disagreement.  A difference of opinion.  In normal arguments things do not become aggressive, threatening or nasty.  People in an argument do not feel frightened or victimised.

Crucially, we must always remember that domestic abuse is NEVER okay.  It is never acceptable.  There are no excuses.

Alongside the more general spiritual aims of this blog, I will aim to help victims of domestic abuse to reclaim their power and find a way back to being who they truly are.  

xx

Saturday 21 February 2015

Positive affirmations

Some of my personal positive affirmations are listed below.  I say these out loud and in the quiet of my mind a number of times a day.  I find positive affirmations very helpful.  Negative thoughts are unhelpful thinking practices, whereas positive thoughts, as you might expect, support your psyche:



I am a truly beautiful person

I am perfect as I am right now
 
I choose my thoughts

My life is in perfect order right now

I am calm

I listen to my inner wisdom

I know who I am

xx

Angelic messages

As part of my spiritual journey, I've found these two sites very interesting and useful.  Open your mind and your heart then check out the links below:

http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com.au/

http://spiritlibrary.com/doreen-virtue/number-sequences-from-the-angels

Peace,

The Renegade Glitter Fairy xx


First post

This is my first post on my new blog.  A blog dedicated to a spiritual journey, to empowerment and to making the world feel happier.  

I'm stepping further along my own spiritual journey and I want to share my progress.  I also want to share positive affirmations, thoughts on mindfulness and ways to encourage one's sense of personal power.  Some of my thoughts will generally be about spirituality and some will relate to encouraging a sense of power to people who have experienced / are experiencing abusive relationships.

I'm not an expert on any of the matters highlighted above and much of what I will say will be my opinions.  However, I truly hope that others will find my musings useful.

No doubt that angels, white magic and fairies will find their way into my writings.  I strongly suspect that yogalates will get more than a mention too.  

Love and peace to all,

The Renegade Glitter Fairy xx